Losing Grip
by Archangel-Rem
Summary: Naruto seems to be losing himself. I suck at summaries. Thank you for all the reveiws! I hope to see more! And for those awaiting a sequel, I'm sorry, but there won't be one. This will remain a oneshot.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the title.  
  
A/N: It a sad one-shot that could easily be continued. PLEASE R&R!!!!!  
  
Naruto tossed and turned in his sleep. His blankets were soaked with a cold sweat as was his body. It was another one of those dreams again. It was the same dream that had haunted him for the longest time. Though the situation and the opponents were different, the basic outcome was always the same.   
  
He would be fighting another ninja; one who was obviously stronger and more skilled than he was. His friends and teacher would be nowhere in sight but there would be no time to go for help. He would fight with all his heart and soul but lose terribly and have to be saved. Kakashi and the others would appear out of thin air and stand over him as he lie there on the ground, defeated. His own master would make continuing cracks on how useless and unwanted he was and that he had no hope whatsoever of becoming a ninja, much less a Hokage. Sasuke and Sakura would do the same, all the while holding hands and smiling happily at one another. Then, as mysteriously as they had come, they would leave him there and walk away without a pinch of concern.   
  
The white flame inside him grew stronger and hotter with every one of these dreams. He hated being hated; he'd done nothing to harm anyone. And yet he was hated. He despised this fact to the point that it brought tears to his eyes. The flame told him to give them something to hate him for but he'd always been able to keep it in check. Now the desire was stronger than ever and, honestly, he didn't want to hold it in any longer.   
  
  
  
How do I get myself into these things? Kakashi asked himself as he looked over the situation. A very powerful and notorious ninja stood in front of them. They hadn't even gotten out of the village yet and they were being attacked. This wasn't fair. The man was armed with a whip lined with poisoned thorns and explosive shuriken. Everyone in the village was looking from their windows, being sure not to get involved. That was a good thing. He looked his team over. Sakura looked uneasy but at the ready, Sasuke was being his normal expressionless self, but Naruto seemed more eager than he usually was. He was almost jumping up and down, like he couldn't wait to be beat. Kakashi readied himself but before he could give the signal, Naruto was already halfway there. Unlike usual, he was more focused on the opponent than on how flashy his moves were. I must be teaching him well.  
  
Naruto was nearly to the attacker when shouting erupted on the sidelines. He stopped and looked up at the people in their windows.  
  
"WE DON'T WANT SOMEONE LIKE YOU PROTECTING US! LET SOMEONE WHO'S WORTHY DO IT!" One man cried as he shielded his wife.  
  
"YES, WE ARE GRATIOUS ENOUGH TO LET YOU LIVE HERE BUT WE ALL KNOW YOU'LL END UP TURNING ON US YOU MONSTER!" As his gaze fell on each of them they either gave him hateful looks or held their loved ones close. The flame within him flared, why wasn't he worthy?   
  
But the straw that broke the camel's back was when the enemy began to laugh and agree with the people he sought to control. He just couldn't hold it in anymore, he was losing grip on everything that made him, him.   
  
The enemy back flipped through the air and landed behind the rest of the group. The three of them turned their backs to Naruto to face this foe. Suddenly, a shockwave shook the ground and gasps from the onlookers followed. The adversary's face had grown pale as he looked past them. They turned around expecting to see the boy throwing a temper tantrum but instead he was standing there, his fists clenched. Blood erupted from within his fists as he tightened his grip. His face was deeply shadowed and the little black lines on the side of his face stretched to the edge of his face and turned a deep red. His ears grew longer and ended at a point. With a haunting scream, nine foxtails erupted through the back of his pants. He turned to glare at them, the white of his eyes now crimson red. He flexed his twitching hand showing off his claws that dripped with his own blood.  
  
Sakura gasped and walked toward him. "Naruto? Are you all right?" She was blown back as he flew past her and wrapped his clawed hands around his foe's throat. Gurgling sounds were all that the man could muster as he gasped for breath. Naruto growled through clenched teeth and squeezed tighter until the man's eyes rolled back and he fell limp. Releasing him, Naruto gave a victorious roar that resounded for miles and alarmed everyone in the village.   
  
For the first time in these last tense moments, Naruto looked at his fellow students, waiting for them to compliment him. Instead, his anger fed expression melted as he saw the frightened looks on their faces. He turned to look at the crowd that had formed around the battlefield. Mothers were gripping their children and taking refuse behind their husbands. Everyone was with someone except one little girl who was standing all alone. She must have been an orphan like him. He walked over to her, letting everyone else move away. Going down to one knee he looked at her closely. Her eyes were full of tears; she must have been frightened by what he had done. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her close, tears welling up in his own eyes.  
  
"Why did you do that?" she asked him, looking up. "Why did you kill him?" He knew the answer but there was no way he could have explained it to her. Sakura walked over and stood behind him.  
  
"Yes, Naruto I want to know what happened," her tone was flat and stern. Standing up, he faced her and searched her features. He reached out a hand to touch her tear welled face when a wave of pain shoved him to the ground. A man in the crowd grasp a fistful of throwing knives, his face distorted with anger.  
  
"Don't you dare touch my daughter you . . . you monster." Naruto had about a dozen knives sticking out of his back. When he tried to get up, another wave hit the back of his legs. He immediately fell to the ground. After a moment, he growled and ripped them out, then turned on the man. Running at full speed, he was determined to kill the one who had caused him this pain. Only feet away, he ran straight into the sword the man had pulled. It pierced his shoulder and erupted through the back. Staggering back, he fell to his knees and screamed. As the ringing faded away, the man kicked him in the stomach, sending him sprawling across the ground. He doubled over, hacking up blood that poured from his mouth. Sakura ran to his side, followed closely by Kakashi and Sasuke. They all stood around him as Sakura laid his head on her lap.   
  
"Naruto?" she called, brushing his hair from his eyes. He answered her with a groan as he forced open his eyes and smiled. Her father came running over, and along the way, pitched more throwing knives toward the fallen child. Kakashi caught them all and stood between him and the boy. The man was about to shout something when he was met with a glare from the ninja master, which cut him short.   
  
"Naruto? What happened? Why did you do that?" She looked at him both attentively and almost lovingly.   
  
"I . . ," he paused to cough again, bringing up more blood, "I hate it."  
  
When he didn't continue, she urged him on. "Hate what?"  
  
"I hate the way I am always hated for nothing more than who I am. I hate myself for being who and what I am. I can't stand to look in the mirror cause I don't see myself; I see this village that I love so dearly being burned by my hands. Though they weren't my hands. Every time I pass by that memorial Kakashi showed us, I can hear them screaming at me to leave before I do any more damage." Kakashi knelt down and jerked the sword from Naruto's shoulder.  
  
"I didn't know you felt so bad Naruto, I would have never shown you it if I knew that this was going to be the outcome," his master remarked. "I always thought that you were more secure than that."  
  
After the pain had passed, Naruto looked from Sasuke to Sakura. "I always knew you were in love with Sasuke." He left his words hanging in the air around them. "And I hated that. I loved you from the moment I saw you but you never paid any attention to me. So I was determined to be more like Sasuke so I could have the same feelings from you. But ever time I tried, I would fail miserably and it seemed you hated me more and more each time." He paused again to let Sasuke's blushing go down.   
  
"But then again, I guess it's my destiny to fail. I've failed in everything I ever thought was important. I failed in becoming a ninja, I failed in winning over your heart, and now, it seems, I've failed in being myself." Small droplets hit his face; Sakura was crying. She hunched over him, letting more tears fall. He looked puzzled at her.  
  
"I know I outwardly show that I have a crush of Sasuke but, inside, I think I just can't tear my mind away from you." He smiled to this then sighed.  
  
"I guess that the one thing I haven't failed at is . . ." he paused to let the tears roll down his cheeks. "In making others feel sorry for me." With his last bits of strength, he raised himself to kiss her on the lips then shrank back. Settling himself down, he inhaled, but didn't exhale. Kakashi lifted his limp form up from the ground and left. Sakura got up and left in the opposite direction. Not too long after Sasuke left without a word.   
  
After wondering the streets until the sun began to set, Sakura made her way to Naruto's house. She stood at the door trying to convince herself that when she opened it, the boy would be sitting in bed with a huge smile on his face. She turned the knob and stepped through the threshold. The moment she went through, she saw Master Iruka sitting on the end of the bed, his face buried in his hands. She walked over to him and bent down, trying to see between his fingers but there was nothing but shadow. She looked up toward the head of the bed. A body lay underneath the covers with a white cloth covering its face. She knew who it was, but she didn't want to accept it.  
  
Walking over, she uncovered his face. She had never seen a dead person before but she had been told they were expressionless and pale. As Naruto's face was revealed the pale part was true, but he was smiling. A small, innocent grin was stretched across his face. Sighing, she bent to kiss his lips, which were colder than ice against hers. As she turned and began to leave, the tears coming like untamed rivers from her eyes, she looked back at him. He was still smiling. I'm sorry it couldn't work out, Naruto. With that final thought she left the house to mourn in peace.   
  
~The End~  
  
Another A/N: WAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! I don;t want him to die!!! If you have any idea on how to continue, I have him live!!!! 


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